It’s said comparison is the thief of joy. I experience that from time to time.
Whether I hear of someone else’s success, see someone’s post on social media, or read about some twenty-year-old tech billionaire who already accomplished more than I will in my whole life… I’ve felt the joy-suck of comparison.
Here’s five things I’ve seen comparison do in my life.
Comparison Lies
Those posts you see on social media… Most of them are staged. Most of them are complete fiction.
That amazing pic you see of your friend’s legs sitting on the beach… You don’t see the mosquitos biting them or the massive red sunburn they have two hours later.
That book deal you see someone else sign… You don’t see a year down the road when book sales were minimal and they can’t get signed again.
Comparison Misses the Whole Picture
More than that, you don’t see the effort and trials that went into other people’s success. You don’t see how hard your friend has been working just so they can scrimp and save enough to go on vacation; they deserve a little R&R. And you certainly don’t see all the rejected manuscripts your friend had before he got his big deal.
Comparison only takes people’s highlights and doesn’t show the dirty, difficult stuff it takes to get there.
Comparison Forgets About Good Things
Comparison also makes you forget about all the good things in your own life. It tells you to focus on areas where you’re missing out or falling short. So it focuses on others’ good things but only on your bad things. What a jerk.
Comparison Ignores Your Uniqueness
Whenever you compare someone else’s accomplishments to yourself, you see successes that are unique to them. They are their successes because they are them. You shouldn’t experience the same successes they do because you are a different person. Your opportunities lie elsewhere.
But if you only focus on where you feel like you’re missing out, you’ll never get to focus on your unique opportunities. You’ll always be looking for someone else’s to come your way.
Comparison Causes You to Fear
Finally, comparison can cause you to fear, because we often misunderstand the concept of scarcity. Many resources in our life are scarce; in order for you to have some, I can’t. But joy, success, love… Those aren’t scarce resources. They’re vital resources. There’s an unlimited supply.
So we need not fear that someone’s else joy will rob us of our own. In fact, if we remember the quote at the beginning, the only thing that can rob us of our joy is if we worry about someone else’s.
Don’t let comparison steal your joy. Rejoice with others when good things happen, but don’t dwell on it. Celebrate what God has already done in your life. Give thanksgiving for the good things. And nothing can steal your joy.