I have ugly handwriting. There, I said it. That’s a huge weight off my shoulder.
My dad tried to correct it early on. He’d sit me down at the kitchen table and force me (gently) to write through the alphabet a few times each night. It improved marginally. But I never fully developed that motor skill.
So imagine my distress, years later, when I’m asked to sign copies of my book, Created for More. People not only wanted my sloppy signature, but also a nice note in the front of the book that was personalized for them. My own anxiety meant that each signature also included trace amounts of sweat from my nervous palms. (more…)
I had just given major attitude to a new pastor who had come on staff. He wanted me to do something that I didn’t agree with. I didn’t think it matched the vision of the church, and it wasn’t the best use of my time. So I told him. Maybe I was rude; maybe I wasn’t. I didn’t intend to be.
But from then on our relationship devolved. A few times he yelled at me from the hallway outside my office as I returned verbal jabs. (I was particularly proud of my ability to seem calm and make him seem like the immature one.)
Eventually it came to an apex of tension and my pastor (also my dad) sat me down in a room with the guy. There I was, a 25 year-old facing off with a 50 year-old who had far more experience than me. (more…)
I’m a fan of the Meyers Briggs personality tests. I’m an ENTP if you’re curious. I love how the descriptions of the sixteen different personality types actually describe me. It’s like they know me.
However, I know that’s not all there is to me. There are things that I have that make me unique from anyone else on the earth. And discovering those things can help give me a vision for my life—for making an impact on others. I believe there are a few fundamental things that make you unique from anyone else on the earth. Let’s explore. (more…)
Everyone has an opinion. And for some, those opinions can feel like threats. For others, those opinions can feel like a lifeline. Still for others, opinions are simply helpful thoughts. What’s your response?
There’s a good chance, if you feel opinions are threats or if you feel they’re lifelines, you care too much about what people think of you. It means your value and the value of your ideas relies on their opinions. This usually results in weak ideas or passivity. (more…)
I’m convinced there is only one type of person who truly understands who they are. Those people are the ones moments from death. These people are the only ones who can look back upon moments of their life and see the thread of identity weaving itself through each second of their lives.
For the rest of us, all we can see is a temporary identity. We see who we are at this moment. But we fail to see potential. We don’t see struggles that will come and refine us. We don’t see people who will impact us. We don’t see opportunities that will come when we least expect them. This “you” is only one small portion of who you will eventually become. (more…)
I remember one day as a kid, I’d had enough with my mediocre life. I decided I wanted to be Superman. He was everything I wanted to be. So I woke up one morning and made myself just like Superman. I put on my jeans, and then I put on my underwear. I figured that would be enough to do the trick.
As I gazed at myself in the mirror, I had a realization that this might not be the best idea. Copying Superman’s style might not be what it took to make myself as cool as him.
My story might be a bit silly, but I think that’s what happens when we look at others and try to be like them. When we try to make our outer persona like someone else. When we adopt someone else’s methodologies without knowing what went into making them who they are. It’s copying that ends up making us into a bit of a fool. (more…)
I love Christians. I love the Church. But believers can be some of the most manipulative and controlling people you will meet. Not all. Not even the majority. But there are enough of them and their actions so heinous that they seem to be everywhere.
I’ve had worship leader friends see this. One in particular decided to introduce a new song to his worship team. It was a little different than their usual songs sounded. And one of his singers didn’t really like the choice.
But instead of simply stating that she didn’t like the song, she decided to control the situation. She actually said: (more…)
Do you have a scarcity mentality toward ideas? I used to.
When I first began blogging, I was also working full-time at my church. I had to come up with great ideas at home and at work. I was frankly worried I’d run out of good ideas. So I hoarded them.
I had an idea journal. Whenever a project or blog post came along, I took some tweezers and extracted the smallest idea I could find. After all, I didn’t want to waste all my good ideas. I had to keep my million dollar ideas for projects worthy of their brilliance. (more…)
The harsh reality is this: many people won’t be missed when they die. Sure, their friends and family will miss them. It’ll be weird that they’re no longer part of their life. But will society miss them? Probably not.
And I think the reason for this is that many people are trying to be somebody they’re not. They’re trying to fulfill a role somebody else was called to play. Because two people were playing the same role, one won’t be missed when they die.
Does this sound harsh? It feels harsh. But this is the reality we face when we don’t play the unique role God has called us to play. When we try to be somebody we’re not, we have no unique part to play in this world. (more…)
I have a friend who seems to have all the luck. He gets floor seats to Laker games. He’s been on TV multiple times. People fly him all over the country just to hear what he has to say. He’s not really a public figure, but he’s treated like he is. It’s hard not to be a little bit jealous of the guy.
You could try attributing the good things in his life to a few things: his magnetic personality, his good looks, his talent and unique insight… You could name any combination of those things as the reason so many good things happen to him. But there are people just as magnetic, just as attractive, and just as talented who don’t see nearly the success he sees.
I’ve noticed something different in his life. Every single time I’ve hung out with the guy, he’s invested in me. The first time I met him; he reached out to me and bought me coffee. He asked me loads of questions about myself and didn’t ask for a single thing in return. In fact, he’s never asked anything of me. (more…)