I spend more time on social media than I do talking to real people. I’m willing to bet you do too. And unfortunately, Christians are sometimes the worst people to encounter on social media. Hey, I’ve been guilty of it too.
It shouldn’t be this way. Just like Christians should be magnetic in real life, we should be the ones everyone wants on their friend list. So here are seven things Christians should stop doing on social media in order to start turning that around.
1. Complaining/Ranting on Social Media
When Paul tells us to “do everything without complaining” in Philippians 2:14, he’s talking about everything—even social media. It goes on to say that when we avoid this sort of thing, we show ourselves to be pure and blameless in a perverse generation. And through this, we can be light to the world.
We’re called to go into all the world and make disciples—for most of us, our world is social media. Want to reach your world? Start by not complaining and ranting to it, no matter how much you want to.
2. Arguing with People We Disagree With
That same verse in Philippians tells us not to argue. Besides that, though, you’ll never be able to change someone’s opinion in a Facebook comment. Instead, you’ll just drive a wedge between you and that other person. Also, you never know what your strong rhetoric is doing to people who are watching in on the debate.
Even with emojis, it’s hard to have a friendly debate on social media. If you really want to talk about the issues, call the person up and take them out to coffee. Discuss it there privately and in friendly way.
3. Posting Opinions that Alienate Unsaved Friends
I get it; abortion is a horrible thing. But posting that meme about how abortion is murder isn’t the best way to reach your friends. You never know how many of your followers have had an abortion in their past. Imagine what a post like that does for a person’s day.
We are called to be an encouragement to those we come into contact with. It’s hard to encourage and show love when we’re sharing our strong opinions without context or grace layered in.
4. Criticize Our Own
As believers, we are part of a family. Just like you wouldn’t put your uncle on blast on social media, don’t do that to the pastor down the street. It’s easy to hate on megachurch pastors or televangelists. But regardless of how you feel about them, they’re your family.
Do you think your friends on Facebook will want to join our family if they see you criticizing them behind their backs? Not gonna happen.
5. Preaching Your Agenda
There’s a line from an old Tree63 song that has hit me so hard over the years: “I shout truth at you without love for you.” Unfortunately, preaching is a one-way conversation. But that’s not how social media works. Social media is about listening just as much as speaking.
If you’re only speaking and not listening, that’s not showing love. Don’t be so quick to preach your agenda. Listen. Be gentle. Ask questions. Show love first, then if they ask you can share your agenda.
6. Taking Simplistic Approaches to Social Issues
Gun control, #blacklivesmatter, Planned Parenthood. Man, these are tough issues, steeped in emotion. It’s easy to share that biased article or post a meme or use a sarcastic hashtag. But none of those things fix the problems. Be part of the solution by joining the discussion. Don’t short-circuit it by reducing it to something so simple.
7. Posting Things to Make People Jealous
I’m guilty. That amazing sunset and my Pumpkin Spice Latte…I know it’ll make everyone jealous to see. I need to stop doing that. It’s deceptive at best—you know I’m getting bit by mosquitos and my wife is feeling neglected as I try to set up that perfect picture.
Let’s look at social media as a chance to build people up, not tear them down. Social media is our world. Let’s make it a better place.
So what would you add to the list? What do you think Christians need to stop doing on social media?
Hey, Jonathan – Thanks for these reminders. I do think there’s a place for healthy conversation around #4 – not “hating on” pastors, but it seems appropriate to speak against terrible theology and hateful practices. I don’t want my Facebook friends to see that garbage and think, “Yep. That’s what Kelley’s all about, because she’s a church girl.” Ya know?
That’s a toughy, and I definitely hear your perspective there. I think the place I was coming from on that point is this: Christianity has, for most people, become a religion of “againsts”. We’re against this philosophy or sin or person or political ideology… I think a better stance…and it sounds like we agree on this…is to speak truth. “I believe this”, “I’m for this”… It feels like a better approach instead of being against certain pastors or church groups. I have a feeling we agree and we’re just talking semantics. 😛
Yes! Being know for what we’re FOR–justice, mercy, humility, love–is always better than the other way ’round. We for-sure agree. 🙂
I appreciate your article and your thoughts. I believe there’s a proper time and place to discuss many things that are often used as a bully pulpit on social media. I especially appreciate your thoughtfulness toward women who may have gone through an abortion. As a minister’s wife I’ve tried to be sensitive to what these women have gone through. There are times I would like to respond to something that someone has written, but to be honest, I worry more about what my Christian friends will say than a non-believer. I always stop, think, and then answer in a way that won’t offend. Some will say that I’m a coward, but I’m called to love a hurting world. So many perceive Christians as an angry bunch of people who are blinded by their zeal. I don’t want to be in that group. I would rather be known as a ‘follower of the Christ’.
Love that phrase “bully pulpit”. It’s true we often are bullies with the Bible. I think the world sees people with Bibles are bullies…but really…bullies are still bullies regardless of what book they hold. I don’t want to be a bully, but I do plan to hold a Bible. 🙂
Agreed!
I totally agree, I have in recent months been trying to frame what I do and say by “they will know us by our love” (John 13:35) , For time being I am a lot more silent… as you wrote, truth does not = love and until I can reflect both together truth will only hurt and cause a wall to go up.