I wrote a book a couple of years back called Unwelcome. It’s basically 50 things I’ve experienced in churches that make me not want to return. It’s a super valuable resource for churches.
At the same time, though, I’m kind of grateful for those 50 things—and not just because it gave me something to write about. There are a few things I’ve learned from these embarrassing church experiences that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Here’s what I’ve learned. I’m sure you’ll find you’ve experienced these things too.
1. Moral Failure
I’ve seen pastors fall from a great height because of moral failure. Now, as tragic as this sort of thing is, I’m grateful for it. I’ve also seen the other side of moral failures where God is able to redeem and re-establish them in ministry. What amazing grace that God’s not done with people who fail!
That shows me that God won’t reject me, no matter how badly I fail. If God can keep using people with sexual or gambling addictions, surely He can use me.
2. Weird, “Spiritual” Stuff
I was talking with my dad about some of the weird church services he took me to when I was younger. He didn’t remember most of it. The barking, the odd prophecies, the gold dust, the mass “vomiting” of evil spirits…I’ve seen some weird stuff.
That could have left me cynical. But I loved my parents’ approach to it. They never judged what God could or couldn’t do, or what He could or couldn’t use. I’m convinced God can work inside us in spite of weird personalities. The fact that people have been saved in services where that stuff happens?! It boggles my mind. But maybe God can’t fit within the confines of my mind.
Now, I’m not wanting to go to churches where that stuff happens, but I’m also not so quick to decry them.
3. Worship Wars
Some churches worship with gospel music. Some with country. Some with U2.
I’ve had the chance to see people arguing about whether or not worship should be hymn-based, Hillsong-based, Bethel-based, or Tomlin-based. It’s crazy that there are so many different flavors when it comes to worship music.
And seeing that makes me realize: Maybe God doesn’t really care about styles. So if it’s not the style that God wants from us, what could it be? Maybe He’s just more concerned with us getting along and raising a corporate voice of praise to Him. And frankly, maybe music isn’t even necessary for that to happen.
4. Hypocrisy
Hypocrisy makes many people want to stay away from the church. But hypocrisy—seeing both sides of it—shows me I’m not alone in my struggles. No matter how perfect people seem, I know we’re all dealing with our own battles.
More than that, I know I’m a little bit two-faced too. Seeing that God can still use two-faced people means God can still use me.
5. Spiritual Manipulation
Finally, spiritual manipulation has taught me that my standing with God doesn’t rely on what other people think about me. It’s all about the heart. If someone tries to manipulate my to do something because it’s the “spiritual thing”, but the heart isn’t there, I don’t need to listen. You can’t necessarily know how spiritual someone is by the outside actions—only when you see the Fruit of the Spirit in their lives.
The thing is: People will always fail, but God never will. That’s an important truth to be reminded of constantly.
And the fact that God can use us in spite of our failures is something worth celebrating. I love that the flawed, embarrassing Church shows us that daily.
Great article brother!!!