I was biking down South Beach with my wife, when we stopped at a Public (grocery store) to grab some water. It was a smoldering hot day, and for some reason we decided to rent bikes and ride a few miles. I stayed outside with the bikes while she went inside to buy the water.
That’s when I was approached by two smiling faces with clipboards. “Hi! We’re with the UN’s disaster relief fund. We’re the ones who go in and help after disasters like what happened in Haiti and Iraq. Would you be willing to donate a few dollars to help with that? A few dollars could help save lives.”
The ball was in my court. I could either reach into my wallet and grab some cash I’d allotted for our vacation. Or I could say “no” and seem like a selfish jerk who didn’t care about anyone but himself. I said “no”, and I didn’t feel like a jerk one bit.
Fortunately I flashed back to something I saw Bill Gates say. He was on one of those “ask a celebrity anything” events online, when someone asked him if he could give them $1,000. Obviously Bill could have. This wasn’t an impossible ask. But Bill said something like this, “Unfortunately, all of our money is already designated. Each year I plan exactly where every dollar will go.” That’s how he was able to say “no”.
He had already determined where he would give money, where he would spend money, and where he would invest money. There was nothing left.
And that’s something I’ve been doing. I choose want I want to give to intentionally…so saying “no” wasn’t a selfish action. I had already determined where I would give. I’d take it into consideration next year, but now it just couldn’t happen.
This principle applies to more than just pressure to donate money. It applies to every area of your life. The key to saying “no” without being selfish, is to determine ahead of time where you will spend your time. Where you will spend your money. What you will give your energy to. (And down-time and leisure is a valid use of your time and money.)
That’s how you say “no” to compulsory requests. You have a vision for your life and you plan it accordingly. Ask God where He wants you to spend your time. Ask Him where He wants you to give. By saying yes to Him, it’ll be really easy to say no to everyone else.