My wife has come to accept the fact that I get the occasional man crush. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, it’s basically when one man thinks another man is so cool that he can’t stop talking about him. It’s just a silly way to say you admire the person.
And it happens to me a lot. Perhaps that’s because I’ve lately been surrounded by some incredible men. They’re either remarkable in temperament or in the things they’ve accomplished.
I tend to seek them out and spend loads of time with them because I want some of that awesomeness to become part of me too.
I’m convinced man crushes are actually a great thing in our generation. But you have to approach them right. So here’s my “married man’s guide to man crushes”. Enjoy and learn. (Ladies, send this to your husbands in case they need it.)
1. If your wife says no, it’s a no.
As I said, my wife has grown to accept that I get man crushes. But every now and then, she’ll tell me no to someone. Most often, it’s because she has seen a change in my personality that she doesn’t like. Or she has noticed something about the person that she doesn’t want to see become part of me.
So if she tells me I shouldn’t hang out with a guy, I listen. This is vital, because my wife is my primary crush. I want to make sure I’m still the man she loves being married to.
2. Make sure they treat their wife right.
Even if wifey hasn’t told me no to my man crush, I back off if I see them treat their wife badly. The Scriptures say that bad company corrupts. So I avoid any company that would show me a bad example of how I should treat my wife.
Going further, I try to avoid any guy that has bad attitudes or is afraid to risk. I don’t want that to become part of who I am.
3. Make sure they’re different than you.
Finally, make sure your man crushes aren’t just another version of you. There’s the obvious reason in that you don’t want to have a crush on yourself…that’s weird. But moreover, a good man crush will challenge you to think differently. They will show you truths about God or about culture that you haven’t seen before.
Make sure you gain true respect and appreciate for different races, cultures, and even theologies.
Now, for many of you, you couldn’t get past the word man crush. I’m sorry. I realize I played off the humor in that word a bit much. But the principles in this post hold true no matter what you call it. It’s important you choose wisely who you associate with.
So what would you add to this list? What do you think is a vital element to a man crush?