I grew up in the church. So I grew up hearing cautionary tales.
- “If you have sex before marriage, it’s like becoming a chewed peace of gum. You waste yourself.”
- “If you drink alcohol, you’ll get drunk and make bad decisions.”
- “If you do drugs, you’ll get addicted and your brain will be gone.”
Those are just a few of the intense cautionary tales I was told as a kid. And to a degree, they worked. They kept me from some bad decisions. But I’m also grateful I had parents who went beyond just cautionary tales. They actually gave me vision for something greater. That’s what we need to do as parents or as communicators in the church.
Here’s why.
Cautionary tales train people to play defense.
“Don’t do this. Don’t let this happen to you.” Those are all defensive actions. It trains you to think everything is bad, when often the issue is more of a timing one.
“Don’t have sex” can actually become a source of shame when you get married and it’s actually time to “do have sex”. For many, they’ve played defense their whole life in that area, so it feels wrong when all of the sudden it’s right to happen.
I don’t want to live my life in defense.
Cautionary tales don’t instill vision.
Imagine if, instead of saying “don’t do”, we focused on “do”. We gave people a vision for what they could do with their lives instead. When you’re proactively doing great things, you don’t have time to waste on the negativity from the cautionary tales.
“Don’t get drunk” would turn into “do amazing things with your life.” Drunkenness doesn’t exactly contribute to that mandate.
Vision is better than caution.
Cautionary tales are Old Testament.
Vision is New Testament.
The Old Testament was filled with warnings and rules. It had to be, because there was no other option yet. But Jesus came on the scene and fulfilled those warnings and rules. It’s not that we shouldn’t lie, steal, kill, or commit adultery; Jesus offered us a better way.
When we live in the world of the cautionary tale, we miss out on the hope and vision Jesus modeled.
I don’t want to live my life in defense, trying to stay away from bad things. Instead, I want to live a proactive life – seeking the good things God has for my story.
Let’s stop living cautionary tale lives, and let’s start living lives of vision.
Some excellent wisdom in your blog post. Well done. One caution…Old Testament…I still find some of the best guidance in Proverbs bearing in mind, at any age, we all need instruction. 🙂