In ancient times, boys became men around twelve or thirteen. Girls became women when their bodies were capable of bearing children. But in modern times, we don’t consider someone an adult until much later. Maybe it’s when a boy gets a career. Maybe it’s when a girl gets married. I know I didn’t really feel like an adult until I was married, but even that was a stretch.
This gap in life is called adolescence. You’re no longer a child but you also aren’t an adult. Adolescence has become widely recognized as the time of self-discovery. Every child goes through this search—the search for a unique identity. They make mistakes, try new things, and challenge norms. Then at some point, self-discovery is achieved and they become an adult.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that for most of us. Most of us find ourselves in adulthood still unaware of who we are. “Who am I? What’s my role in life? What makes me unique?” Some of us can escape these questions by remaining busy or entertaining ourselves enough where we don’t have time to think. But still, late at night, many of us wrestle with these questions as we slip into sleep.
That’s one of the problems with identity: the idea that we think others have it. “Everyone else knows their identity, why don’t I know mine?”
Many people declare their identity based on their career.
- I’m a salesman.
- I’m a writer.
- I’m a housewife.
- I’m a politician.
- I’m a doctor.
These labels might help us describe a few facets of who we are. But they miss out on the big picture.
I think about Jesus. His father was a carpenter. By trade, he was a carpenter too. But if that’s all Jesus was, how depressing would that be? Yes, he was a carpenter. That’s what everyone saw at first. But more importantly he was the savior of the world. He was a teacher and a prophet. But more importantly, he was “the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” (Matt 16:16) He was the only Messiah that ever was, and he was the only Messiah that would ever be.
Your identity can’t be summed up by your job or by a couple of words, because you are the only ________ that will ever be. No personality test or four-letter type indicator will ever capture your identity. All of that stuff has its place. But your identity is bigger than what others can see right now. It’s even bigger than what you can see right now.
