In high school, my youth pastor met with all of the guys in the group and asked us what we were looking for in a girl. His purpose was to help us set a high standard for a potentially mate as well as ourselves.
When it came to me, my response made everyone laugh. “I want a girl with low expectations.”
Now, nobody understood the meaning behind that sentence because they didn’t have the same foundation as me. I had just returned from an extensive relationship conference with my pastor-dad. The presenter talked about how unreasonable expectations can cause friction in the marriage. If I expect my wife to have the house clean and dinner on the table at 5pm each day, I get mad when that doesn’t happen. But if I lower my expectations of what a “wife” should be, I’m just happy she’s home when I get there.
That was the foundation. So really, my response was profound. Just nobody else got it.
It’s the same principle for why we disagree so often and can’t see eye-to-eye. It’s not necessarily that people are crazy; it’s that people don’t have the same foundation.
If you’re a believer in Christ – pursuing the truths from the Bible – your foundation will be different than someone who’s unsaved. Frankly, your foundation will probably be different than most other believers too since Biblical literacy is at an all-time low.
Because of this, arguments are useless.
If we all had the same foundation, we probably still wouldn’t completely agree. But understanding our different foundations helps us understand why getting on the same page seems so impossible. It is. Except, through the Holy Spirit.
That’s the behind-the-scenes of what the Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 2:4 – “And my speech and my preaching were not with enticing words of man’s wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power…”
Man tries to change the outward appearance but God looks at the heart. Our only hope for coming to agreement is to let the Holy Spirit speak through us. Of course, that also means we have to listen to His voice and follow what He wants us to say.
But that’s the opportunity we have. We don’t have to argue. We don’t have to debate. We don’t even have to get people to agree with us. We just have to share the good news of Jesus Christ and let God do the work on people’s hearts – let Him lay a new foundation.