The Most Insecure I’ve Been in a While

I’m reading through a book I just finished writing, making edits and doing some rewrites where necessary. And to be honest, I’m feeling pretty insecure about the project. I’m actually tempted to archive the book and forget about it.

There are a few reasons for this:

First, I already have a new book I’m excited about writing. I feel so strongly about the content in this new book and I’ve lost much of the excitement of the current book I’m editing. I’m tempted to simply abandon this and go with something more exciting and probably a bit more compelling to read.

Secondly, I’m in a holding pattern for another book I wrote. My agent informs me it needs a bit of work, and that’s lowered my confidence a bit in the book writing department. Sure, I understand edits are always brutal, but it still chips away at your confidence knowing you didn’t write the perfect book the first time around.

Third, I’m still feeling like Created for More and Unwelcome were flukes. Neither of them are traditional books—in the sense that they don’t follow a completely logical flow from chapter to chapter. Essentially, those two books could be a collection of blog posts compiled into a book. It’s not what I’d call a real book.

Now, I realize these three things are stupid. Why would my insecurity cause me to throw away something I worked hard on for a few months. I was at one time passionate about this book; why would I be so quick to give it tup.

So I’m pushing through. It’s not fun. And I’m feeling even more insecure knowing I’ll have to show this to my agent and eventually a publisher (if it’s good enough). But my feelings of inadequacy as an author have nothing to do with my ability to write. Those are feelings. My writing is reality. I can’t let the feelings affect the reality.

And neither should you.

[Blog photo from Mopho.to]