I was a scrawny white kid. Not much has changed since childhood. But I was never whiter or scrawnier than when I went to my first rap concert.
At the age of ten I was intrigued by hip hop culture. I thought the relationship between swagger and the bagginess of my clothes was directly related. Baggier = swaggier. So the first thing I did when I arrived at the rap concert was slap down $20 for an XL hoodie shirt. I threw it on over my existing clothes. I looked like I’d been swallowed up by yellow and black vomit. It was awesome.
Then the show began. I found myself in the front row. I was into the beats. I was into the flow. I felt it. I felt it so hard that my body reflected it. I danced. I danced with like nobody was watching.
But somebody was watching. It was the rapper. I’d still link to think my flow was so tight that he had to put it on display. More realistically, though, it made him laugh. Either way, he pulled me up on stage. It was my opportunity to shine. For one sweet song I was his backup dancer.
I would never do that now. I’d be convinced people were simply mocking me. I’d never have the guts to dance on stage next to a rapper.
But I also wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. And that experience is forever mine.
Most of the best experiences in my life came when I was completely unaware of how foolish I looked. So often, as soon as I become self-aware, I shrink into the shadows and avoid risk.
But I want to get back to that ten year-old version of myself. Good things happened then. I risked and the risk paid off.
When was the last time you let yourself look like a fool? What amazing experience did you have? How can we get back to that mentality where good things can happen?
