I run a website called ChurchStageDesignIdeas.com. It’s quite simply a site for stage designers. Churches publish photos and tutorials of their set designs for other churches to learn from and emulate.
I stumbled upon the idea. I knew there was a need for something like this and I figured, “Why shouldn’t I do it?”
So I did some research. I asked to repost some articles here and there and began creating a following. The site grew and grew.
I knew one day the site had made it when I stumbled upon a church tech podcast that was reviewing the site. Someone tweeted the link to me and I got so excited. These professionals who really knew their stuff were reviewing my site.
Very quickly that excitement turned to dread. I knew inside I wasn’t a stage design expert. I didn’t know the appropriate theatrical terms or even fully the technology I was helping churches use. I knew, as I watched this podcast, they were going to out me as a fraud.
So with sweaty palms I clicked Play. My heart was in my throat.
To my surprise they didn’t criticize me. They actually praised me. “This guy Jonathan is amazing. He’s put together the single best resource for church stage designers. If you haven’t seen this site you’re missing out on life.”
My mouth dropped open—not because I was pleasantly surprised, but because I knew I didn’t deserve that praise. Sure it was a great resource, but these guys knew far more than me but praised me like I was the expert.
That feeling of fraud didn’t go away from a pat on the back. I still knew who I was and who I wasn’t. Validation didn’t ease my fears.
I still felt like a fraud. And to a small degree I still do.
But I’m not. That feeling isn’t true.
The Truth Is…
I’m not some magical gift from God to the world. But I’m also not a fraud. That feeling is insecurity. I can choose to either let it humble me and keep me grounded, or it can make me shut down and hide for fear of being found out.
I choose the former.
I don’t have to become the artistic diva because I choose to acknowledge the truth about myself. My successes and failures don’t make me better or worse than anyone else. I may not deserve the credit I receive but I can be grateful for it.
I can accept this undeserved favor from men the same way I accept undeserved grace from God. The beauty of the world is that life isn’t fair. We don’t deserve the breath in our lungs. We don’t deserve the beat of our hearts. We don’t deserve the relationships we enjoy.
But it’s so beautiful.
And we get to be grateful for these gifts. We get to bask in the good gifts of the Father of Lights. How marvelous that we don’t get what we deserve.
The Artist of the universe has endorsed us. He’s put His seal of approval on our work and said, “Do it. I’ve created these great things for you to do a long time ago.” And we don’t surprise Him. He knows we don’t deserve the credit we receive. He’s okay with it. So why shouldn’t we be okay with it?
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. – H. L. Mencken
This is fantastic.