I’m not going to lie. Self-employment is stressful at times. Each time I make my long walk to the mailbox, I pray there’s a check in there waiting for me. Sometimes that check needs to be there. And I’m convinced sometimes it’s only by the grace of God that it is there.
That’s the life of a self-employed person. There’s very little regularity or security part of the gig. But I’ve made peace with that.
First, I’ve had to learn to trust God. That’s the Christian answer. But it’s true. Even in my own irresponsible actions, I’ve had to learn to trust that God can sustain me, even if the check never shows up. That’s hard enough. Fortunately, I think God has given me this other, second grace.
It’s this: Understanding that there is zero security – anywhere. In self-employment or full employment. This is evident on the rare occasion that the Internet goes out.
When the Internet is out, there is nothing I can do. I can’t update my websites. I can’t renew advertisers. I can’t upload new content. I have faith that the connection will come online again. But there’s no guarantee.
If something happens that wipes out the Internet worldwide, I’m essentially screwed. And there’s a good chance we all are, since most records are stored on the Internet. We’ll have no access to our nest eggs or retirement accounts. There is no security. No chip technology will help it. No storing cash under your mattress will help it (money can burn). None of us are secure. Every bit of “security” we have is just a thin illusion.
And that’s okay. We were never meant to have complete security, because we wouldn’t need to rely on God. I’m convinced we were meant to rely on God for everything, but that He also gave us the ability to adapt and work hard to make money – no matter what happens.
It’s a fine line between trusting in the abilities God gave me while also trusting wholly in God’s ability to provide for His children.
It’s an impossible tension, but I think God likes it that way.
To experience peace when there’s no security… That’s something only God could give. And I believe that acknowledging this makes me even more willing to take risk. If there’s no security no matter what I do, why not do something bold? Risk it all?
I wouldn’t want to live any other way.