Before I started my last job, my new employer gave me a personality test. Then on my first day, he brought me into his office and we discussed the results.
“You scored unreasonably high in one area of this profile. The guy who helped me interpret the results said nobody scores that high. He told me you might be a little insane,” he said with a nervous laugh. Apparently my score was comparable to Steve Jobs’—that thing that made it difficult for some people to work with him.
We shrugged it off and laughed about it. But that was obviously a sign it would make it difficult for my boss to understand working with me. And while he was a champion at reigning in my difficult personality, I felt his tension points. It was obvious he didn’t quite get me.
I’m convinced that’s not a bad thing. It might be a bad thing if you’re wanting to hold down a steady job. But in life, being misunderstood is actually a blessing. Here’s why.
1. You shouldn’t fit into a box.
Most people only have about 10 or 12 boxes—profiles of who they think people can be. Meyers-Briggs has sixteen, and that’s generous. But nobody really fits within those boxes. If you did, you’d be boring. Nobody should be “one in sixteen”.
The fact that you don’t fit within someone’s preconceived personality box means you’re complex. That’s a good thing.
2. The most innovative people in the world were misunderstood.
We love hearing the story of the underdog—nobody believed in them, nobody understood them, but they triumphed anyway. There are so many of those stories because it’s rather common.
If people understood you, they would get the way you think. Then you would lose your competitive edge. Your unique way of thinking gives you opportunities no one else has.
3. It keeps you searching.
Unfortunately, most of us discover who we are based on how other people see us. We were meant to get our identity from someone else—not people, but God. Easier said than done.
But when others can’t seem to figure us out, it keeps us searching, trying to figure out who we are for ourselves. I’m convinced this search is a good thing. It keeps us changing. Keeps us reaching. Keeps us growing.
So while there might be major pressure points when you feel misunderstood, I’m convinced it’s okay when people don’t “get you”. It means you have unique opportunities to do unique things. Take hold of those.
Now I’d love to hear your story! Who’s someone in your life who didn’t understand you? What did you do about it?
Interestingly enough, I had a situation a couple of weeks ago where I was seriously misunderstood. After yelling (and a couple of swear words), I finally stopped and could hear God say (that is, after I actually shut up), “can you be okay with being misunderstood!?”
I now am slowly, but surely, embracing that.
It’s working!
Awesome and timely article!