I used to be an extreme people pleaser–I had to know that people liked me. That condition held strong until my 10th grade year. My family moved to a new city–and me to a new school. This small school didn’t see many new faces. Within weeks I become the face of hatred to many of the kids in the school. It got so bad that a website was started to trash me in forum form. My survival instincts kicked in and I quickly lost my need to please everyone. (Don’t worry, the rest of the story isn’t so depressing.)
In your creative career there will be people who don’t like you (or at least they won’t like your creativity). Usually the more brilliant the artist, the more intense the backlash of hate they will receive. It’s important we don’t take this too personally and let it limit our creativity.
There are thousands of musicians out there whose parents or friends hate their music (mostly punk rock). Many of these are doing very well though. The criticism they receive doesn’t keep them from creating beautiful(?) art.
To finish the story, it turns out that it was primarily the boys that hated me at this new school. The girls seemed to love me. I was a new face in a sea of the same old. The boys felt threatened by my new face. The point?
New things (creativity) challenges the norms. The norms are very comfortable. Those boys had seen those same girls all of their lives. They dated each other, broke up, then moved on to the next face. But now there was something new in the mix and things weren’t functioning the way they were accustomed to.
Much of the hate you receive isn’t actually directed at you. It’s actually directed at the hater’s own insecurities. It’s directed at the hater’s wish for the status quo. Don’t fear this. Challenge the norms. Don’t let haters hold you down.
Hey man,
I’m really enjoying your blog posts. Great wisdom and creative advice.
Thanks Brad!
Hey man,
I’m really enjoying your blog posts. Great wisdom and creative advice.
Thanks Brad!