This isn’t exactly a “creative” post. But I guarantee this concept will change your life…in almost every positive way.
My wife and I have been discovering the power of community. We moved to a new city…always a lonely experience. The first thing we realized is that we need a community around us. We need folks to hold us accountable, to be available for crying sessions, to encourage us, and to back us up when the stuff hits the fan. And stuff does hit the fan. And there will be crying. But community makes it better.
So these are the things I’ve been learning about community.
- The friends you want require searching, the friends you don’t want connect themselves to you.
The friends that will really encourage you and influence you are hard to find. Partially because they aren’t lonely. Everybody wants to be their friend. You have to seek those out people. The folks who are “easy friends” are the ones that don’t have too many friends. There’s often a reason for that. Don’t settle for easy friendships. - 90% of making friends is effort.
Perhaps 10% is being personable and like-able. But to make friends you have to put the work in. You have to go where the friends you want to make hang out. You have to invite them to your house. You have to make the effort to be their friend. It’s an investment. But when you’re willing to make that investment it returns big time. - Giving is the quickest way to make a friend.
I recently joined a secret mafia of creatives. I’m not sure how I was lucky enough to get an invite. But I realized one thing about the group that I love. Each one is willing to go to the mat for every member of the group. They’re willing to share their connections and defend each other. Developing a powerful community requires investing contacts and physical energy. Give to others and the community will come. - There’s amazing power in running things by people.
I’m about to sneak my way in to a co-working environment in Dallas. It’s basically a place where creatives can work together and bounce ideas off each other. It gets lonely blogging by yourself in your local Starbucks. And your work suffers for it. Get a community that will sharpen your work. - The best friends are sometimes annoying at first.
If you haven’t had the chance to have amazing friendships…chances are you’re looking for the wrong sort of person. Try hanging out with someone who annoys you a bit at first. Sometimes the strongest friendships start out a bit rocky.
So those are my recent learnings. What have you learned about the power of community?
Needed this Jonathon! Sending tit on to J….:)
Needed this Jonathon! Sending tit on to J….:)
I agree with most of this. I think #1 is correct for the most part except when you are referring to people being new to a community, be it a church, town, job, etc. I think in the church world, for example, the friends you really want are the ones who seek you out when you are new to the environment. When my wife and I visited our church for the first time, we were welcomed by 3 couples. We became friends with all of them and best friends with one couple in particular. In fact, they helped us through the roughest stretch of our marriage. Now, my wife and I are trying to be that couple that reaches out and gives new attenders someone to seek out on a Sunday morning, someone to call their friends. I understand what you are saying and I agree with your point, just wanted to make my own addendum to #1.
I think you had a great experience at your church. That’s not the norm. We have folks being nice to us and stuff…but nobody has really reached out yet. Once we start volunteering that will change…but that takes effort on our part.
Once they figure out you’re a genius you’ll be beating them off with a stick! Haha! Maybe we did have a rare experience, but I’d like to make that the norm. Maybe that’s what churches should strive for. I still believe there are legit easy friendships. But yes, they are somewhat rare.
Ya. I agree. This post was mainly for those that have never really felt like they have great friends.
I agree with most of this. I think #1 is correct for the most part except when you are referring to people being new to a community, be it a church, town, job, etc. I think in the church world, for example, the friends you really want are the ones who seek you out when you are new to the environment. When my wife and I visited our church for the first time, we were welcomed by 3 couples. We became friends with all of them and best friends with one couple in particular. In fact, they helped us through the roughest stretch of our marriage. Now, my wife and I are trying to be that couple that reaches out and gives new attenders someone to seek out on a Sunday morning, someone to call their friends. I understand what you are saying and I agree with your point, just wanted to make my own addendum to #1.
I think you had a great experience at your church. That’s not the norm. We have folks being nice to us and stuff…but nobody has really reached out yet. Once we start volunteering that will change…but that takes effort on our part.
Once they figure out you’re a genius you’ll be beating them off with a stick! Haha! Maybe we did have a rare experience, but I’d like to make that the norm. Maybe that’s what churches should strive for. I still believe there are legit easy friendships. But yes, they are somewhat rare.
Ya. I agree. This post was mainly for those that have never really felt like they have great friends.
SO true. Strong community is one of the most important things for success.
SO true. Strong community is one of the most important things for success.
Jonathan, I don’t comment much on your blog. I wanted you to know though, that I always take the time to read your blog and maybe two others. There are a lot of blogs out there to read, but I think investing time in 2 or 3 really good ones makes me feel responsible with my time and not too overwhelmed. I can read your blog and easily apply it to my day. Just wanted to encourage you today. Hope you an inspiring day!
Thanks so much, Kassie! 🙂
Jonathan, I don’t comment much on your blog. I wanted you to know though, that I always take the time to read your blog and maybe two others. There are a lot of blogs out there to read, but I think investing time in 2 or 3 really good ones makes me feel responsible with my time and not too overwhelmed. I can read your blog and easily apply it to my day. Just wanted to encourage you today. Hope you an inspiring day!
Thanks so much, Kassie! 🙂
This is hugely important, especially for every church that wants to grow! Tom gave a good example of how church members should respond to new guests. Our church has implemented what are called connect communities, these are small divisions of the congregation with facilitators over each of them. When a guest starts coming more regularly they are placed in a community where they can meet new people and grow stronger friendships through the regular outings and fellowships.
This is hugely important, especially for every church that wants to grow! Tom gave a good example of how church members should respond to new guests. Our church has implemented what are called connect communities, these are small divisions of the congregation with facilitators over each of them. When a guest starts coming more regularly they are placed in a community where they can meet new people and grow stronger friendships through the regular outings and fellowships.